Talking Points of the Chronically Single
Not better than sliced bread. But definitely better than kittens with brain tumors.
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On Kayla’s deep, southern secrets.
(p.s. have y’all been to our kick-ass new site? we amuse ourselves so much we decided to make our little corner of the blog-o-sphere a little bit bigger. http://www.chronically-single.com)
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- Kel: In other news, the teenage boy who burned the McDonald's french fries I'm currently trying to enjoy should be punished. By death.
- Kay: What!! Burned fries?! Wtf!
- Kel: Bastards, I tell you, El Kinky. Bastards.
- Kay: I have never in my life met a burned McDonad's fry. Isn't the machine like, automated?
- Kel: Don't ever underestimate the power of a McDonald's worker to fuck something up. Including my life.
- Kay: If I can manage to successfully stumble from the bathroom to the bedroom after a night of cheap wine and crying over YouTube videos of dogs undergoing surgery, that bastard can make a damn fry.
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- Kay: I know it's usually all fun and games, but I'm genuinely concerned that Bieber was actually born a female. He's seriously prettier than me.
- Kel: Hahaha RIGHT?! I feel like a lot of women pay good money to look like Bieber. That's worrisome.
- Kay: That kids has been famous for like half a decade. How is it possible that there are zero photos of him naked?
- Kel: Because he's only been 18 for a few months. Give it time.
- Kay: I'm too impatient for this.
- Kel: Also, he does not have a body I want to see naked. Zac Efron? Yes fucking please.
- Kay: Kelly this is not personal sexy time. This is research.
- Kel: I choose to blur those lines.
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- Kay: Your dog just texted me and said you're a crappy valentine. True story.
- Kel: That's funny. Your boyfriend just texted me and said I was the best valentine he'd ever had. Awkward.
- Kay: Yeah well. Your mom texted me and said she had a great time last night.
- Kel: That... doesn't surprise me.
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- Kay: I AM WATCHING MATT DAMON CRY. IT'S TOO MUCH
- Kel: STOP
- Kay: I FEEL THE NEED TO WEEP TOO
- Kel: STOP YOUR FEELINGS
